Ups and Downs
by Ariyana
Summary: Inspired by Livejournal community 30hugs challenge. Kyou and Kagura find that they must deal with their relationship. [8 of 30] Current Chapter: Now What? Part 3
1. Unrequited

**Title: **Unrequited  
**Author:** Ariyana**  
Fandom: **Fruits Basket**  
Theme: **#17 orange; color**  
Pairing: **Kagura Sohma/Kyou Sohma**  
Rating: **13+ Some Caution  
**Word Count:** 161**  
Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya, Hana to Yume, TokyoPop, Funimation and whoever else I forgot.  
**Notes: **For the most part I'll be mixing anime and manga for these one-shots and drabbles that are inspired by Livejournal community 30Hugs. Be warned I'll be going all ove the place with this couple. So each chapter will be it's own stand alone piece and there will be spoilers for the manga.**  
Summary:** Is it foolish to dream?

Kagura sat in her room quietly reflecting on her love for Kyou. It had been a few days since she had officially given up on him. She still didn't have the heart or the strength to get rid of all her Kyou related memories. She just hugged the little orange cat backpack to her heart -- the heart that had literally been broken in two.

It was for the best, he had told her he could never love her the way she wanted and it wasn't like she was unaware of that fact. She didn't stand a chance against someone like Tohru. Hopefully they would admit their feelings to each other soon and give her the closure she needed to move on.

Her mind could be rational but deep inside her heart; there still remained a glimmer of hope that Kyou would return her love someday.

_It may be foolish to dream but I've always been a foolish sort of girl._


	2. Still Raw

**Title: **Still Raw  
**Author:** Ariyana**  
Fandom: **Fruits Basket**  
Theme: **#5 collide**  
Pairing: **Kagura Sohma/Kyou Sohma**  
Rating: **13+ Some Caution  
**Word Count:** 305**  
Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya, Hana to Yume, TokyoPop, Funimation and whoever else I forgot.  
**Notes: **For the most part I'll be mixing anime and manga for these one-shots and drabbles. This drabble does contain spoilers for the latest chapters of the manga.**  
Summary: **Never interfere in a fight between women.

She hadn't meant to hit Tohru so hard, but confessions of that nature are supposed to be spoken to the person, not a third party. Kagura had no intention of apologizing for her actions. It was a matter between women. Tohru knew this as well. Once Tohru admitted her feelings to Kyou no doubt all would be forgotten and Kagura would finally be able to move on.

Kagura sat outside the dojo alone the tears still in her eyes. It hurt but she would get over Kyou. She just needed more time.

"Kagura?"

Kagura looked up to see Kyou looking down at her, a look of sadness in his eyes.

"Have you come to yell at me for fighting with Tohru?"

"No, I just wanted to see if you were okay before I go to check on Tohru. Besides, Shishou said I should stay out of fights between women."

"Why bother checking on me? I'm fine."

Her voice was so empty; Kyou flinched at her words. He couldn't really blame her after their last parting. He sat down beside her and could feel her stiffen next to him.

"Well I didn't think I needed a reason to check on a friend," he said placing an arm around her shoulders and lightly hugging her. "I won't ask why you and Tohru fought. Just know that I do care about you too."

"You better go check on Tohru. I slapped her harder than I intended," Kagura said in a dismissing tone. She appreciated his kindness but it was just making it harder for her to let him go in her heart.

Kyou only nodded. A non-verbal understanding passed between them as he got up and left. She was still hurting and needed more time. She was respecting his space it was only right he respected her space.


	3. Innocence Lost

**Title: **Innocence Lost  
**Author:** Ariyana**  
Fandom: **Fruits Basket**  
Theme: **#8 fairytales**  
Pairing: **Kagura Sohma/Kyou Sohma**  
Rating: **13+ Some Caution  
**Word Count:** 155**  
Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya, Hana to Yume, TokyoPop, Funimation and whoever else I forgot.  
**Notes: **For the most part I'll be mixing anime and manga for these one-shots and drabbles. This one is about their childhood.**  
Summary:** He does remember.

He doesn't tell Kagura but he likes it when she reads to him. He always puts on a show of protesting her choice of fairytales because that's what boys do. He's not supposed to want to hear about Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella or Snow White, because that's not manly. At least that's what his father tells his mother when she wants to read her son a story.

The day Kagura runs away from him in fear a piece of his hope dies. So Akito is right, monsters don't get to be loved. Nor do they get to be hugged or read stories too.

He looks back on those days when Kagura's hugs were his safety net and her stories made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. He misses that innocence they once shared but time can't be turned back. Whether Kagura knows it or not he will always cherish their past. Those memories are theirs alone.


	4. At Last

**Title: **At Last  
**Author:** Ariyana**  
Fandom: **Fruits Basket**  
Theme: **#1 hazel eyes**  
Pairing: **Kagura Sohma/Kyou Sohma**  
Rating: **13+ Some Caution  
**Word Count:** 160**  
Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya, Hana to Yume, TokyoPop, Funimation and whoever else I forgot.  
**Notes: **For the most part I'll be mixing anime and manga for these one-shots and drabbles. **  
Summary: **A new life begins.

She has gray eyes, he has red eyes, neither one could have predicted their first child would have hazel eyes. Funny, how genetics works. Kagura believes it is a good omen, Kyou just shrugs. Eye color doesn't matter to him; the boy's health is all that matters.

Kagura smiles as Kyou cradles the baby in his arms. It had taken ages to get together but Kagura is happy they found each other again. No more curses, no more gods, no more misunderstandings, no more rivals in love and no more ever widening gulf between them. They were married, happy and in love.

He looks up at his wife and looks back down at their son. After all the time he spent punishing himself, he can finally let go and concentrate on his future. He has a family to support, hugging the infant to his chest he vows that until the day his dies his son will know he is loved.


	5. A Thin Line Indeed

**Title: **A Thin Line Indeed  
**Author:** Ariyana**  
Fandom: **Fruits Basket**  
Theme: **#24 love and hate  
**Pairing: **Kagura Sohma/Kyou Sohma**  
Rating: **13+ Some Caution  
**Word Count:** 195**  
Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya, Hana to Yume, TokyoPop, Funimation and whoever else I forgot.  
**Notes: **For the most part I'll be mixing anime and manga for these one-shots and drabbles. **  
Summary:** All the things left unsaid.

Kyou hates the way Kagura changes into a madwoman when he is around. He hates the fact that she is constantly proclaiming her love. He hates when she smothers him with attention. He hates the beatings that follow when he says something thoughtless. But most of all Kyou hates to admit just how much he cares about Kagura.

Kagura hates the way her love for Kyou began. She hates the fact that she is so selfish. She hates that she is not more like Tohru. She really hates that Kyou keeps verbally rejecting her. But deep down inside she hates the fact that she must let go. She hates admitting that truth. It just stings.

He holds her tightly, offering as much comfort as he can give. She cries softly, clinging to the last bit of hope she has left. The space around them fills with all the things they don't say to one another. He knows now that she is genuine and she knows now that the little boy she knew is not completely gone.

They both hate that things have to end up this way because really there is much love between them.


	6. Now What? 1 of 3

**Title: **Now What? (1 of ?)  
**Author:** Ariyana**  
****Fandom: **Fruits Basket**  
Theme: **#7 tangled up**  
Pairing: **Kyou and Kagura Sohma**  
Rating: **M  
**Genre:** Romance/Drama/Angst**  
Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket and its characters belong to Natsuki Takaya and whoever else holds the copyright. No money is being made from this story it is merely being written for my entertainment.  
**Notes: **This takes place at least four to five years after the manga ends. This will likely be one or two chapters more because that is about angsty as I can get.**  
Summary: **Kagura wakes up to a shocking situation.

The first thing she noticed as the haze cleared and she drifted back into conscious was the extreme pounding in her head. She felt as if someone had hit her over the head with a brick. Her mouth felt like she had swallowed cotton as she licked her lips trying to restore some of the moisture in vain. Something beside her shifted, lightly brushing against her leg…her bare leg. Now that she thought about it she couldn't feel anything but the sheets against her skin. Suddenly she shot into the upright position; her head protested the movement by rewarding her with a dizzy sensation in addition to the pounding that was already present.

"Oh my head," she groaned softly. Her mind was racing trying to remember the night before; she remembered that she had been at the Main House for the New Year's party. She could also remember that Kunimitsu had not been able to attend due to a series of business meetings that would not wait. So who the hell was in the bed next to her? She had been drinking last night with not much restraint and things were still blurry in her mind. Shakily she turned and pulled the covers down far enough to reveal her bed partner's head. An instant lump formed in her throat at the sight of the familiar orange hair. "Oh no…" she said panic rising in her tone. "Kyou wake up!" she demanded giving him a rough shake.

"Huh?" he muttered, grumpily.

"Wake up!" she shouted, causing him to jump and fall out of bed.

Suddenly his hand went to his own pounding head but quickly amended that decision once he realized that he was naked. "What the hell!" he yelled wrapping one of the loose sheets around his waist and pinning himself against the wall in horror.

"My thoughts exactly!" Kagura said, dropping her face into her hands. How could she be so stupid? She had given up on Kyou years ago but somehow here they were in a rather embarrassing situation.

"Kagura? How? Did we…?" he stammered trying to find the right question to ask.

Kagura forced her mind to focus on the rest of her body, though she and Kunimitsu were only engaged they lived together and had shared the same bed for sometime now. She knew her body well enough to confirm that she indeed had sex very recently. She hugged the covers tightly around her body trying unsuccessfully to stop the tears from falling. Not only was she a bad fiancée but she could add bad friend as well. What could they possibly tell Kunimitsu and Tohru that would make them understand that they didn't do this on purpose? She could hear Kyou let out a heavy sigh before she felt his weight on the bed again. Then hesitantly she felt him pull her into a comforting embrace.

"Kagura, I'm sorry…" he whispered softly into her hair.

**X**

**X**

**X**

He had watched her quietly sob into her hands and felt helpless to do anything. Things were hazy for him but he did remember Kagura being really drunk and him being only slightly less drunk offering to walk her back to her house since Kunimitsu was unable to make it back from his business trip. Tohru had been the one to suggest to him that he take her home and he was suppose to meet her back at the Main house afterwards. Everyone had been either full out drunk or tipsy but they all had to notice that he hadn't returned. How in the world was he to hide something like this? More disturbingly he wasn't sure if he wanted to hide it.

Even hung over Kagura looked beautiful sitting across from him. Her long brown hair hung around her face and shoulders covering her expose pale skin. She now had the sheets wrapped tightly around her body. He could feel his own body stir and quickly shook the thoughts away. They were already in a bind there was no need to complicate things further.

He and Tohru had been a couple for a few years now but they had yet to marry. Something always came up that allowed him to make the excuse to push the date back and Tohru never bothered to argue about it. Lately he found that he was missing something, that as good as his relationship with Tohru was he still couldn't fully commit to them. Looking at Kagura's distraught form on the bed across from him he began to understand why. Cautiously he closed the distance between them and pulled her in a comforting embrace.

"Kagura, I'm sorry," he whispered softly into her hair. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

She stiffened in his arms before slowly looking up at him. "What do you mean by that?"

He looked deeply into her widened gray eyes and placed a hand gently on her cheek. "I'm sorry for hurting you…all these years."

He could feel her breath catch in her chest before she pulled away from his embrace. "I'm not sure why you are saying this now but last night was a mistake. We both have someone now and things are good…why rock the boat?" she said getting off the bed. "I'm going to take a bath and clear my head. Please be gone before I'm finished."

He felt her pulling away from him and it was the last thing he wanted now that he knew exactly what and who he wanted. Reflexively he grabbed her arm and pulled her back down on the bed. "Are you really happy with Kunimitsu?" he asked forcing her to look him in the eye.

She faltered slightly and turned away from his gaze. "Kyou, why are you doing this to me now? You have Tohru and I have Kunimitsu...at least I hope so after this stunt."

"Answer my question," he demanded.

"Yes, I'm happy with him," she said, looking into his eyes. After all these years he could still read the emotions in her eyes.

"But…"

"But something is missing between us."

**X**

**X**

**X**

He had finally made it back home and he wanted to surprise Kagura. Quietly he entered the house and made his way upstairs it was as he almost reached their bedroom door that he heard voices...two very distinct voices at that. Silently he pressed himself against the wall to listen to the conversation.

"Are you really happy with Kunimitsu?" he heard Kyou ask.

There was a pause before he heard Kagura reply, "Kyou, why are you doing this to me now? You have Tohru and I have Kunimitsu...at least I hope so after this stunt."

"Answer my question!" Kyou's voice commanded.

"Yes, I'm happy with him…" said Kagura, although Kunimitsu noted the conviction wasn't there.

"But…" Kyou pressed.

"But something is missing between us." Kagura admitted. Kunimitsu could feel…almost hear his heart crack. She had assured him that she was over Kyou and he believed her. They had been together for a couple of years even lived together yet she always found excuses for them not to make it official. So was that it, was he just a lay over until she found the person she really wanted? Had he been her Kyou substitute? Part of him wanted to barge in and challenge Kyou but he knew violence wouldn't solve this problem. Slowly he backed away, crept back downstairs and walked outside. He needed to talk to Kagura but not while Kyou was around. He reached into his suit pocket and pulled out his cell phone dialing their home number. He could hear Kagura scrambling upstairs to answer the phone in the hall.

"Hello!"

"Hey honey, I'm on my way home. I'm already in the compound. Want to go out for breakfast?"

"Yeah sure, I'll see you in a few minutes," she replied before hanging up.

His decision was made; he would play it cool and see what she would tell him. The next few hours would define how he was going to handle this situation. "Kyou, you had your chance and blew it. I won't give her up without a fight!" Kunimitsu muttered.

_TBC_


	7. Now What? 2 of 3

**Title: **Now What? (2 of ?)**  
Fandom: **Fruits Basket**  
Theme: **#18 the wrong words**  
Pairing: **Kyou and Kagura Sohma**  
Rating: **M  
**Genre:** Romance/Drama/Angst**  
Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket and its characters belong to Natsuki Takaya and whoever else holds the copyright. No money is being made from this story it is merely being written for my entertainment.  
**Notes: **This story takes place at least four to five years after the manga ends. Okay this wants to be at least one more part longer.  
**Summary: **Kyou and Kagura have to deal with the aftermath of what they have done.

**X**

**X**

Kagura hung up the phone and quickly headed back to the bedroom to find Kyou getting dressed.

"He is already in the compound. We can't let him see you leave here," Kagura said, grabbing her robe off the back of the door and slipping it on.

"What are you going to tell him?" Kyou inquired.

Kagura took in a deep breath; she didn't want to think about it right now. Her head still hurt, Kunimitsu was on his way back and she was in no mood to deal with Kyou's sudden case of stupidity! It was just too much to deal with at the moment. "Look I don't know yet. Kyou just get out of here and go back to Tohru." Kagura said, pushing him toward the window.

Before she could get the window open Kyou grabbed her face and kissed her. Her heart began racing as she almost melted into his embrace. A sound from downstairs caused her to break away. "Hurry and go," she whispered urgently.

"We'll talk later," he whispered back before climbing out the window and grabbing onto the tree. Kagura quickly closed the window and curtains and headed for the bedroom door. Her heart was still pounding from the kiss that Kyou had given her. 'Damn you Kyou, why do you still have this effect on me,' she thought bitterly.

Kunimitsu was walking up the stairs when she stepped out of the bedroom. "There you are, still not dressed?"

"No, I just woke up when you called. Do mind if I take a bath to wake up first?" she asked sweetly.

"Of course not, I'll go make some coffee then," he said, placing his bag on the floor and kissing her cheek.

That kiss on the cheek signaled to her that something was wrong. They hadn't seen each other in over a week and that was not the way he usually greeted her when they were reunited after long absences. The panic was threatening to overtake her again. Quickly she reached out and stopped him from turning away. The instance they locked eyes she knew that he was holding something back. The pain was just so evident in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked, praying that he didn't know about her and Kyou's mishap.

Suddenly he pulled her into a deep kiss...a possessive kiss that took her breath away. After a few moments she pulled away her headache getting the better of her.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

"Yeah, I just had too much sake last night and now my head is killing me," she confessed.

His strong heads grasped her shoulders and neck gently; then lightly he kissed her forehead. "Go ahead and take your bath. I'll go get you something for your headache."

She merely nodded as she watched him walk away. Slowly she slipped down to the floor, grasping her heart. "He knows..." she whispered. She had to tell him the truth that much, she knew. Maybe he only suspected she had done something behind his back but having him pull away from her and then force an open show of affection made her heart hurt. Kunimitsu had been her bright light in a sea of uncertainty. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. Slowly the memories of her night with Kyou played through her mind, causing her guilt and grief to grow even more. The tears began to stream down her face as she sobbed quietly in her hands. 'Dammit Kyou! Why do I still love you so much,' she thought resentfully.

**X**

**X**

**X**

He hadn't expected that she would be able to read him that easily but then again he had never been good at hiding his true feelings. He loved Kagura with all his heart, so it hurt that she felt something was missing between them. After putting so much time into their relationship he wasn't prepared to give her up without a fight but fighting would be useless if she didn't want to be with him.

When she had asked him "What's wrong?" he couldn't bring himself to be the first to confess. Kissing her had seemed like the logical thing to do but that kiss had been far too telling. He was feeling desperate and he just knew that she had picked up on it.

He grabbed the bottle of aspirin out of the cabinet before grabbing the can of coffee and set to work at his task. He wondered if this situation would hurt more or less if the person he had caught Kagura with had been a total stranger to him. A total stranger that she had no past connection too.

He had seen first hand how Kyou would shoot her down when they were younger, and he remembered the day that Kagura struck Tohru but refused to apologize. He didn't understand why she lashed out at Tohru the way she did, but that had been the first time that he had ever seen genuine pain in Kagura's eyes. That was the day that he knew that Kagura's feelings for Kyou were not just some schoolgirl crush.

'God, why did it have to be Kyou of all people?' he thought sadly. He was almost certain that it wouldn't hurt so much, if it weren't the guy she obsessed over for years.

**X**

**X**

**X**

Long ago he had told her that he could never love her the way she wanted him too and now he realized why they said 'Never say never.' He wasn't exactly sure when it really happened. Over the years he and Kagura had managed to become friends again. After she stopped pursuing him and he stopped being a jerk toward her, it was weird to realize that he could be himself around her. He could have a bad day or just feel grumpy around her, and she wouldn't blame herself or worry that she had done anything wrong. Kagura would just smile, make an off-handed remark and they would both end up laughing. Things were just simple around Kagura...almost content.

Of course he still loved Tohru very much but it didn't feel right. Maybe they were just going through a phase but it seemed like they had hit a bump in the road. Why did he feel like he was always holding back with her? It wasn't a secret that he could be moody so why did he feel guilty for making Tohru worry? Why did she worry over such trivial things? He never bothered to tell anyone these problems not Kagura, not Shishou, and certainly not Tohru. It didn't really help that all the couples around him seem to be working through their problems successfully. Come on, if Shigure and Akito could actually make their twisted relationship work he and Tohru should have been a success.

Yes he was happy with Tohru but where was the fire? Maybe he was just being selfish wanting more but seeing so many of the couples around him with that fire made him want it too. The only other couple that didn't seem to have that fire was Kagura and Kunimitsu. Oh they got along well and Kunimitsu was certainly no stranger to Kagura's mood swings but they still seem to lack the passion he had seen in so many of the other couples. A fact that for some reason had given him much relief, at first he thought it was because it meant that he and Tohru weren't the only ones. Now he knew it was because somewhere along the line he began to want Kagura for himself.

The drunken haze from last night had started to lift enough for him to remember how incredible the previous evening had truly been. In their judgement impaired stupor they had held nothing back from each other. His body began to awaken again from the memory. All the frustration, anger and love had came out at once and created a fire that he thought he would never experience for himself.

"Kyou? Are you okay?" a familiar voice broke through his thoughts. He looked up to see Tohru walking toward him.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about last night I ended up passing out on Kagura's floor," he lied.

"Shigure suggested that might be the case. So I was coming to check on you two," Tohru said with a slight giggle.

Instantly Kyou felt like a big jerk for lying to such a trusting and loving woman. Despite the fact that his heart felt torn and he still had a headache he pulled Tohru into a tight hug. 'I'm so sorry,' he thought sorrowfully.

"Is something wrong?" Tohru asked, her voice full of concern.

"No, I'm just glad to see you," he said softly, while thinking 'Yet another half-truth...'

He knew he would have to tell her the truth eventually even if Kagura was out of his reach there was no way he could hold on to Tohru. She wasn't a consolation prize...no she deserved way better than that.

**X**

**X**

**X**

She hadn't really thought much of Kyou's failure to return the night before after all everyone had been so tipsy that it was only logical that he and Kagura probably passed out. Shigure and Akito's reassurances of that idea just served to put her mind more at ease. But something small tugged at the back of her mind nagging her. She wasn't as oblivious as she had been when she was just a teenager. Something about Kyou and Kagura's friendship made her ill at ease. Was it silly to think that Kagura would steal him away? She chastised herself for such thoughts especially since Kagura was living with Kunimitsu.

The moment she saw Kyou walking up the path back to the Main House she pushed all those silly notions from her head. Kyou had chosen her so what was she worrying about...but then again why did he look troubled?

"Kyou? Are you okay?" she called out walking up the path to meet him.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about last night I ended up passing out on Kagura's floor," he said simply.

His reply was innocent enough, causing her to slightly giggle at her earlier insecurities. "Shigure suggested that might be the case. So I was coming to check on you two."

His expression seem to wavier at her reaction suddenly he pulled her into a tight hug. The kind of hug that he would give to her when he was feeling distraught or conflicted.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, concerned. Not wanting to acknowledge the fact that he was covered in Kagura's perfume.

"No, I'm just glad to see you," he said softly.

His voice gave nothing away but being pressed so close against him she could feel and hear his heart hammering in his chest. She had promised herself that she would try not to panic every time Kyou acted differently. She had no idea what was wrong but jumping to conclusions and showing a lack of faith in him was not going to solve anything. If there were a problem he would tell her...wouldn't he? Quickly she pushed that thought from her mind.

"I'm glad to see you too," she answered back, hanging on to him as if he were her lifeline.

_TBC_


	8. Now What? 3 of 3

**Title: **Now What? (3 of 3)**  
Author: **Ariyana  
**Fandom: **Fruits Basket**  
Theme: **#20 broken dreams**  
Pairing: **Kyou and Kagura Sohma**  
Rating: **M  
**Genre:** Romance/Drama/Angst**  
Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket and its characters belong to Natsuki Takaya and whoever else holds the copyright. No money is being made from this story it is merely being written for my entertainment.  
**Notes: **This story takes place at least four to five years after the manga ends. This is pretty much the last chapter. I will likely add an epilogue later but this story arc is finished. This is the edited version of this chapter if you wish to read the MA rated version of this chapter you can go to livejournal community 30hugs or you can visit my Adultfanfiction account under the same penname.  
**Summary: **Kyou and Kagura have to deal with the aftermath of what they have done.

**X**

**X**

She had taken her bath sobbing the entire time. What a way to start off the New Year, little bits and pieces of the previous night kept returning to her...tormenting her further. Finally Kagura came downstairs fully dressed, she could feel Kunimitsu's eyes on her but she just couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze.

"Kagura?"

"We need to talk," she said in a small whisper. She had hoped for a little more time but if he was already suspecting something it was better to come clean as soon as possible. He merely nodded at her words as he motioned for her to sit down at the table with him.

"What is it?" he asked, handing her a couple of aspirin.

She tried to smile as she took the aspirin but she was feeling absolutely miserable between the hang over and her guilt. She just knew she had to be showing it. The fact that he looked at her with eyes full of concern made it worse.

"Last night, I made a huge mistake. I'm not using this as a justification but I was very drunk and I allowed Kyou to walk me home. One thing lead to another and well…" she trailed off, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. "I woke up in bed with Kyou beside me. I don't remember much but I'm positive we did more than sleep," she confessed, her voice full of shame.

The silence was deafening. What was he thinking? She knew her words had to hurt him. She almost wished he would get angry and yell at her but he wasn't like that. Yeah they argued over things but he had far better control over his temper than she did. Something that until today she had considered a blessing.

She looked up at him with tearful pleading eyes. "Please forgive me," she sobbed. "I don't want to lose you."

"Do you mean that?" he asked, moving to kneel down beside her. She looked at him confusion clear in her eyes. "About not wanting to lose me, do you mean it?" he clarified.

"Yes, of course I do," she said wide-eyed. She did mean it. She had worked really hard to move on from her heartbreak. She had learned how to be a better person despite her failing love life and when she got involved with Kunimitsu all her past failed relationships seem to disappear. "I love you very much."

"What about Kyou, I overheard you two this morning? I think he wants you."

And there it was, he had known, the blood drained from her face upon hearing that admission. Did that mean he heard her tell Kyou that something was missing between them? She was too scared to ask because she didn't want him to ask her what the something was. In truth she didn't know what was missing between them. Dammit why did Kyou have to raise all these doubts in her? A mere 24 hours ago she was perfectly content with her life and with what she and Kunimitsu shared. A sudden feeling of anger swelled inside her; no way was she going to let Kyou destroy everything she built.

"Well I don't really care what he wants anymore!" she snapped.

Kunimitsu began smiling through his own falling tears. Her hands went to wipe the tears from his face. He kissed her hands and pulled her into a warm embrace before kissing her passionately. It took her a few moments but she relaxed in his arms and kissed him back.

**X**

**X**

**X**

It had been a few days since New Year's had passed; since Kyou had hugged her like he was feeling guilty…since she had smelled the scent of Kagura's perfume soaked into his clothes and his very skin. She didn't have the courage to confront him about her growing suspicions. Part of her wanted to believe it was all innocent. She wanted to believe it was her being paranoid, but the growing strain between Kyou and her; while Kagura was actively avoiding her didn't help the situation.

She didn't want to believe that Kyou would go astray but she had to admit that they had been slipping into a rut. She couldn't even remember the last time they had done anything special. While they were still intimate with each other that had also become routine lacking any kind of spontaneity or enthusiasm on their part. They hadn't been a couple _that_ long so how could the fire go out? It was the thought that the fire had never been there that hurt her most. Her chest tightened as things became clearer. She had always thought they were passionate enough until she began to notice all the others around her. Arisa and Kureno were so loving…so devoted…so _passionate_ that for the first time she began to doubt what she had with Kyou. She had figured she was just being silly and that all couples were different in the level of passion and connection but she saw Akito and Shigure as well as Rin and Haru, yes their relationships were different from each other but the level of intensity between them was nearly the same in all cases. Even Yuki and Machi seem to share something that she and Kyou were missing.

She had been raised to never give up, never surrender, so she had fooled herself into thinking that if she worked harder at their relationship everything would work itself out. She wasn't a confrontational person but she knew that this time she would have to confront him. There was just no other way. It wasn't just the possibility that he cheated on her, but the fact that their relationship was dying a slow death and neither one of them wanted to admit it.

By the time Kyou returned home for the evening Tohru was sitting alone by the table and she couldn't hide the sorrowful expression on her face.

"Tohru?"

"Kyou is there something you want to tell me?" she asked, hoping that the conversation she was about to initiate would be a beginning and not an end.

He looked crestfallen at her question and finally she could fully see the guilt in his eyes. Quickly he knelt down beside her and lightly grasped her hands.

"Tohru…" he stopped. She could see and feel the conflict within him. This wasn't going to be easy for either of them. It was time, and they both knew it.

"Kyou we're both adults here. We're not doting teenagers anymore we have to think about the future," she said softly. "Please, just tell me the truth." She braced herself for the worst.

He sighed heavily and looked away in shame. "That night at Kagura's we did more than sleep…" he started but stopped when Tohru quietly began to sob. "Kagura and I didn't intend for it to happen, it just did. I'm so sorry I never wanted to hurt you. Especially after the way I hurt you all those years ago."

"I know," she whispered. "Do you love her?" She had to know even if asking was slowly killing her inside. The silence that permeated the room spoke volumes. Something about Kyou and Kagura's friendship had always bothered her but she refused to acknowledge it. Deep down she knew that they shared a connection that could never be erased no matter how much time passed.

"I'm sorry," he said barely over a whisper.

She had always tried not to be selfish but Kyou had been the only thing…the only person that she had allowed herself that luxury. Just like she had to let go of the promise that she foolishly made to her mother when she was a girl she realized now that she would have to let him go. It wasn't that she still didn't love Kyou or wanted to give up on them on the contrary she wanted to work things out. She almost wanted to fight…almost being the key word. But, why fight for something when your entire heart isn't into it?

Softly she kissed his cheek and placed a comforting hand on his arm. "I'm sorry too." He met her gaze for the first time since telling her the truth and she knew from his expression that he got her meaning. It was the beginning all right, the beginning of the end.

**X**

**X**

**X**

Coming clean to Kunimitsu had been more painful then Kagura could have predicted. She never wanted to hurt him. The life that she had worked so hard to build after she picked up the pieces of her broken heart so long ago was tumbling down around her. Leaving her to ask over and over why now? How many times had she had too much drink at the New Year's party? Why did this have to be the time for her to make a foolish mistake? Kunimitsu was willing to forgive her but it would take a long time to repair all the damage that had been done.

Even though she had assured him that she wanted to be with him and didn't care how Kyou felt; things were already changing. Just the way she felt in Kunimitsu's arms didn't feel right anymore. Why should that be? She and Kyou had only spent one stupid night together and they had both been drunk! How could one night of drunken sex be more special than the love she and Kunimitsu shared? It aggravated her to no avail. What the hell kind of hold did Kyou have on her anyway?

Abruptly she slowed her pace once she saw Kazuma's dojo coming into view. Her anxiety rising as she got closer. She still didn't know why she agreed to meet with Kyou. Let alone at the Dojo, there were too many memories there, plus there were far too many suspicious eyes around for her taste. She already felt cheap! She certainly didn't need people whispering behind her back, making her feel worse. Quietly she walked into the yard of the dojo, repeatedly she told herself to be strong in her resolve. 'Don't be swayed, you've made up your mind,' she thought strongly but she lacked the confidence to really believe her own words.

"Kagura, you're here," Kyou said surprised. She looked over to see him walking toward her. "I thought you might have changed your mind about comi..."

"I almost did," she interjected, her tone completely icy.

She noticed him visibly flinched at her words. "Let's talk in private," he said pointing toward the house.

"Where's Shihan?" she asked, trying to hide her own discomfort.

"He won't be back until this evening. That's why I thought here would be a good place to talk about everything that has happened," he replied, leading her inside the house.

"So talk," Kagura demanded, not wanting to mix words. She just wanted this over and done.

"I know my timing stinks and circumstances could be far better but I realize that you're the person I want the most."

"What? Are you an idiot?" Kagura asked incredulously, turning away. "What about Tohru? I thought you two were happy!"

"No I'm not an idiot. For the first time in a long time I know exactly what I want. I'll always love Tohru. She's the one who opened my heart again but now that it is open," he paused. "It longs for you."

"Kyou, you're such a jerk! Do you really think I'm going to turn my life upside down because you suddenly had a change of heart? I'm happy with my life and it would be just idiotic to throw everything away over one night!" Kagura snapped angrily.

"Moron, do you really think I would throw everything away over a fling? I wouldn't be telling you these things if I hadn't experienced something that I thought I never would! Kagura you can't tell me that you didn't feel it!" Kyou said sharply, grabbing her arms and forcing her to look him in the eyes.

"Feel what?" Kagura asked, trying to break free from his grasp.

Suddenly he kissed her and all the fight in her just melted away. She hated that he had that type of power over her. Her treacherous body was just responding to his touch even while her mind protested. His hand slowly caressed her thigh and she found herself moaning into his mouth. He kissed her deeply, exploring every inch of her mouth with his tongue. His hands began hiking her skirt up, but she didn't have the will to fight him off. Her body really wanted him and she groaned at the feeling his of fingers stroking her teasingly. Soon even her mind could only think about finishing what he had started as she broke free of his kiss and pulled his shirt over his head.

**X**

**X**

**X**

They both collapsed to the floor panting, their bodies shaking and covered in sweat. All the memories of their night of drunken passion came rushing back to her all at once. The sex had been just as satisfying then too. She hated herself for her weakness but somehow Kyou could tap into a part of her that Kunimitsu didn't even know existed.

"You felt it didn't you?" Kyou panted. "It's the something missing," he added.

"Incredible sex doesn't make a relationship..." she protested weakly.

"No, but it doesn't hurt it either," he retorted. "But seriously it isn't just the sex, it's the connection. You felt it didn't you?"

She rolled onto her back trying to catch her breath. This was wrong her mind knew it but her spasming body begged to differ. She hated to admit it but Kyou seemed to be the only person who could bring out such a ferocious level of passion in her and it looked as though she had the same influence on him.

"Yes, I felt it," she begrudgingly admitted.

"Look I'm not saying that we should immediately move in together or get married. I just think we owe it to ourselves as well to Tohru and Kunimitsu to find out how we really feel. Tohru doesn't deserve to be with someone who can't give her everything he has got and Kunimitsu doesn't deserve that fate either."

Kagura rolled back on her side to look in Kyou's eyes. She would have never imagined or even predicted that he would be the one opening up to her and that she would be the one hesitating. Kyou of the past would have never talked so freely to her but Kyou of the present was older and wiser now. Tohru had been good for him in that she helped him grow up but now Kagura could see that somehow he outgrew Tohru. She wasn't sure how to respond over the years she had given up hope of this ever happening.

"Kagura after everything that has happened between us can you honestly go back to Kunimitsu and be happy with no regrets?" he asked, turning to gaze into her eyes.

She sighed heavily rolling onto her back again. The tears that had been welling in her eyes began to fall. "Okay Kyou, you win. I'll give us another chance," she said defeated. "But what do we tell everyone?"

He wiped away her tears and kissed her lips softly. "We'll figure things out. I promise," he whispered before kissing her again.

_END_


End file.
